A place so worse, yet so good

Smoked out of hell
Here I am all alone,
Like an angel in hell
Here in heaven I suffocate.

It's a place where I don't belong,
Yet I prefer not to run away;
Prayers of many seem hard chains to break,
And here I go against my desires.

My will never in line with His,
Like a fish out of water often I am;
Searched for a devil around,
But then it’s the wrong place, I realize.

So, all alone I tread,
Knowing well what’s in store;
Fighting it day in n day out
Against all odds.

Yet in all the struggles
It indeed is a better place to be,
When it’s sweet smiles that reflects
On every angel that surrounds.