Freedom love and independence

Of late I realized that freedom and independence is a matter of lack of faith and love. This thought came to me when I started to ponder about my marriage and what went wrong with my relationship with my parents. It was again affirmed when I started thinking about the politics that's happening around for the creation of new states. It was this thought that brought out the lines of the skit 'Freedom' played in Christ College that goes like this: "When we speak about freedom are we really free? We want freedom from our parents, we want freedom of speech, we want to live the way we want. We turn away from God. Maybe we get freedom from God's wonderful love and care. But are we really free?"

Let me begin with what came to my mind when it came to my relationship with my parents. From my perspective I had a strong bondage with my dad which could make me face anything in this world if he's around. His words and gentle touches used to have a healing power and strength to withstand any pain, even physical. But it all died down through the years when I grew up. And where did it go wrong? Well, that is where the concept of freedom and independence played its part.

Freedom, that's what I wanted. My nature was entirely different from anyone in my family. The way I thought and the way I wanted to live was all different. But I was always harnessed in the family values except for forcing my dad to send me for martial arts class by bruising my lips badly and the long hair which I somehow managed so far.

Slowly I was drifting away from him when friends became my priority. But then, by God's grace, even without facing any problems with friends I soon started realizing the realities. But then it was too late before I realized I've gone too far away from him. And to add on to that was his attitude towards me. He was more a businessman than a dad to me for which I hated doing business. And he became more like a banker whom I approach whenever I wanted something.

Above all these was the matter of independence. My parents never wanted to be depended on me or my brother or sister. Mom and dad earned enough for their living and says they dont want to depend on us. They don't say when they are not well. They don't let me help them. And my dad just threw the shirt which I got him with the first salary I got. These things made me realize that I'm the most useless guy in this world. If they don't need me then what am I living for. Anyway I'm thankful to them as it made me brave enough to live a careless life as I need not care even for myself. Otherwise I would have gone into depression when I started realizing I'm all alone in this world.

And for the marriage part of it, when i started thinking about the attitude of girls, it gave me more reasons. I might be termed as '1947 type,' a term I use to call those who are narrow minded and wear dress which is not so modern, but I'm least bothered as I have reasons for what I think. We are living in a world where girls want to be considered equal to guys. (Don't misunderstand me. I do consider them equal and at times above guys for theirs is a blessed life which no man can be compared to). They say they want freedom. They want to be independent. They no longer want to do household duties as they talk about equality. They have ambitions, they think about careers, etc. They say they are not servants to wash clothes and clean house and baby sit kids and questions why guys don't do that. They are well educated and they can lead independent life. So no more they want to be tied with household duties which results on more and more divorces.

I never want to lean on to anyone in my life. I've learned to live all by myself and is well prepared even to die a dog's death on the streets with none to care for. But what if I get married. Well, then the story will be different. I looked out for someone whom I can lean on to. Whom I can ask to do something for me. It's not cus I look down on her or consider as a servant, but it's only cus I love her. Love makes one depend on another cus it's a matter of trust. I often pity on the so called 'modern' girls or feminists who wants to lead an independent life and don't want to be a servant at home cus they often end up being a servant outside. Of course their are very few who make it big, and rule the world, but rest of them end up being servants again. Though at home they rule, they need to do all the job they are entitled to do in office where they have no other choice. What I wonder at is they don't mind doing anything in office, but find it hard to do something for their husband or parents or kids. Well, the point I want to make is independence is a matter of lack of love and trust.

Finally the political games that makes people even sacrifice their life reassures this thought. The Telengana issue is just an example. For few of them when it comes to being under the state it seems like they are deprived of their freedom. They don't want to serve the state but want to be a separate state. But will they enjoy that freedom that they earn? If every one starts thinking in their terms soon every state will be divided. But will it end there? Divisions will never end as far as selfishness prevails aided with lack of trust and sense of dependence. It's service, which everyone term as slavery, though when it cross the limit it surely is. I wish if people understand that serving someone is not slavery, but an act of love. And on the other hand the one who is served shouldn't take it for granted and exploit or misuse the love and care someone shows.